Well, here we are, Wednesday again. Although as I type, it is still Tuesday night as far as I am concerned.

We have had a couple of interesting days weather wise here. Monday was lovely up until about ten last night, and the heavens opened. Blimey, I have never seen rain so heavy in all my life. Within half a minute, the water was 3 inches deep outside the front door, it could not drain away fast enough. The gutters were all overflowing, even though they are clean. Mad rain. Then came the thunder and lightning. Pretty spectacular. Very cool when the thunder booms and you can still hear it ages later as it rolls around and echoes off the surrounding hills. The lightning was the sort that lights up the whole sky, the odd thing about it was I was sure I could smell it. Very peculiar indeed. The weather lasted a couple of hours, then faded away into nothing, and Tuesday started off with bright glorious sunshine. That's how the day stayed too, got fairly warm this afternoon, and has started to feel humid, so no doubt we will be getting rain tomorrow.

Had to put the price of petrol up again by four pence per litre. The price now stands at £1.08 per litre for both diesel and unleaded petrol. So, understandably custom was down yet again. as far as I can gather, so my boss informs me anyway,  the so called shortage was actually engineered by the oil companies in this country in order to  push the price up. Rather underhanded if it is true, and even seems slightly illegal to me, but then I know nothing about the laws of this country, so am probably completely wrong, still doesn't seem right though.

Other than the price of fuel not much to tell about work. A couple of our farmer customers stopped by for fuel and a bit of a chat. A lot of the talk was about Dairy Farmers of Britain. Quite a few local farmers were part of the cooperative, and quite apart from the fact that they wont be paid for the milk they produced last month, a lot also had money invested in the company, just four I know of will have lost between them almost half a million pounds. Money that they could not afford to lose. The amount of jobs that are expected to be lost in the company, and also on farms where staff can no longer be paid, is expected to exceed the total job loss at LDV, there will be no government help for the farmers here though. Farmers and farming seem to be last in the list of government priorities.

Vicar rang up yesterday evening, but for some reason my mobile didn't ring just went straight to answerphone, and then didn't inform me until over an hour later, otherwise I could have rung back. I have managed to wheedle out of MLO some more info on what he may or may not have said. Seems he did say something. What do I say to the vicar now? I feel like running for cover and hiding under a pile of rocks about it all. I really wanted to leave it quite a while yet before anything was said, and now it is all wrong. Much too soon. But hey, maybe it is the right time, and I just haven't realised it yet, maybe it's what should happen. I wont know till I call the vicar back, just have no idea what to say?  There I go again, worrying about things that haven't happened yet. I'm pretty good at that lately. If MLO did say what I am now pretty certain he did say, I can't pretend that he was lying, or making it up. Bummer. I actually ended up listening to the answerphone message more than once, to see what I could pick up from the tone of his voice, and attempt to figure out what he was thinking. No use though, I think the only thing I found out, is that he probably doesn't like answerphones.

I Will call back tomorrow, all he said was that, unfortunately his evenings in June were pretty much taken up already, and would like to have a chat with me, left his study number, and said he looked forward to hearing from me soon.  If I can't get through before Sunday, it will be a little awkward in church, I know that. 

Oh what the heck. I could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow, I will just go wherever I am taken.  Forget about worrying, and what people think, I should be out there screaming from the rooftops. That's even how I feel sometimes. 

 I am going to stop now, if I carry on I will tie my brain up in knots. Am off to bed after a couple of games of minesweeper. So night night everyone.

Well that's Wednesday all done with. I will shortly be off to bed, as to be quite honest, I am knackered. Didn't manage to get any sleep last night again, not until about half past four anyway. Was up at seven, I couldn't manage half six, no way Jose could I. Got to work at eight, and finished just after seven tonight, then straight off shopping with MLO, and eventually got home at just after nine. As I am on holiday cover this week, I have ended up doing an eleven hour day, for the whole week. Tiring is not the word. Will Be glad when Sunday comes, as I only have to do a four hour day then. 

I shouldn't really complain though, at least I have a job. It was lovely and busy this morning, but it tailed off towards the afternoon. That could have had something to do with the weather though, as it certainly got a bit thundery later on, after lunch. Lovely purple grey and yellow overcast sky, lashing rain on and off, and  plenty of thunder to add to the mix. I love really stormy weather, I absolutely Love it. If I hadn't been at work, I would probably have been outside in it, screaming like a banshee while running around with my arms in the air. I have no idea why I feel the need to do that in stormy weather, but it sure is fun.  

Off to bed now. Night night. 

Really, nothing much at all happened, so I dont know what to tell you. The weather wasn't anything to write home about for most of the day, a little bit wet this morning, and cloudy for the rest of the day. Then at about 7:00pm we had the most tremendous thunderstorm, the sky was black, lightning flying across the sky, and lterally nonstop thunder, each rumble running into the next so a wall of sound for at least a quarter of an hour. Then came the rain; stairrods would be a good description, closely followed by some pretty crazy hail, the lawn was white for a time afterwards. All our gutters were overflowing, but that my well have had more to do with the fact that the gutters could need cleaning. 

Did I say nothing much happened today, I forgot about the storm.

My lovely other half came home from work today with a brand new pressure washer in tow, so we had fun putting all the bits together on it, next thing will be the fight over who gets to use it first. The patios and drives all need doing, they havn't been done since last summer, and are starting to look a little green around the edges. I know what will happen though, he will get first bragging rights on it, do about two stones on the patio, then get fed up and hand it to me. Dont you just love him..... I dont really mind though, as using a pressure washer is immensly satifying, you can  immediately see where you have been. Beats getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing too.

Wanted to get back into the garden today and finish off what I did on Monday, but due to the wetness out there that was a no-no, slightly annoyed at the weather really as I cant get out there to do anything now until Sunday afternoon at the earliest. The birds have been having a wonderful time grubbing around all the bare earth which has been great fun to watch. In the one part we have a lovely water garden cum rockery, and I had dug a trench all round it intending to fill with gravel, and give it a bit more definition,  I didn't get the gravel in it though, and left the trench empty, and for some reason a couple of blackbirds that live in the garden love to run along it and round the rockery, very funny, a bit like a blackbird grand prix.

Had a bit of an off time earlier, was worried silly what on earth the vicar will think, when I tell him about everything. I then remembered that whatever happens, it is what God wants, and to get over myself,   that helped. It's odd though, sometimes its almost like I dont know myself, a peculiar feeling I can't properly describe. Almost like I am looking at myself from a different perspective, like from outside of myself? Oh that sounds bonkers. I can assure you I am totally not bonkers though... Really...Though I can't make head nor tail of myself at the moment.

I am really loving my prayer time too, never having been comfortable with too much of it, or silence before. Now I almost crave it, and need the time during the day to sort things out, I have to have my little conversations with God, and can't start the day off without it. Something that has helped me greatly with this is the "Book of Common Worship, Daily Prayer" and also the Daily Prayer section on the Church of England website for when I am away from home. Both have been a great help to me, giving some kind of continuity to my prayer, and giving me inspiration for al those other little prayers throughout the day. Another book worth reading is "How to Pray" by John Pritchard, gives lots of examples about how to pray (obviously) and the various methods you can use. It is quite a bit more in depth than I have managed to describe, but there are plenty of reviews on the net for it.

I havn't told my mum yet about everything, well not in so many words anyway. I got her to sign up for Twitter, where I had published my intentions and feelings. She obviously read them, as she commented on one of my posts (not about how I felt). Strange thing is next time we met up, she didn't mention it to me. Perhaps she is still trying to get her head round it. It's not as if I didn't give her any hints though. When I was a child I constantly used to tell her I was going to be a vicar, when she told me that girls couldn't be vicars, I used to say well I'll be a missionary then, like David Livingstone. She would then inform me that girls couldn't do that either. So I told her I would be a nun then. The conversation usually ended there. I dont think she ever really took me seriously

Anyway that's enough for today I think, so night night.