I am currently sat in the study, wondering where Sunday afternoon and today have gone to. Way way way too fast for my liking. Work again tomorrow. Hasn't been too bad a day today though, quite enjoyable really. Decided to be quite ruthless with myself, and have started going through a load of my old things, have found bags of things that I wont mind getting rid of, which is quite an accomplishment when I don't have an awful lot, but obviously quite a bit more than I first thought. Books, magazines, old computer games and things, clothes, lotions and potions that I have never started or opened, films I no longer want and music that I have got fed up with, not sure whether to do a car boot, or just take it to a couple of charity shops in Hereford. I think the charity shop idea sounds better.    

I made a blackberry, apple and raspberry crumble for pudding tonight, it started out life as a blackberry and apple crumble, but I remembered some polish raspberry syrup I had bought and so added a couple of tablespoons of that to it, very nice , with hot custard. MLO said he enjoyed it, so did his mum, which was quite surprising. 

Yesterday when I was getting ready for church, I was listening to Radio 3, when the most beautiful piece of music came on, I cant remember the exact title unfortunately, but I think it was called  "When the winds have stopped", and was a man called Gasparyan, on an Armenian instrument called a duduk, with the Bulgarian Orchestra. The most hauntingly beautiful piece of music I have heard for a long time. I tried googling it, but no luck, but did find plenty different music of his, including two albums on Spotify.

Ah, after doing a bit more searching around on youtube, I don't think that it was in fact Gasparyan playing, I think he must just have been mentioned in passing. The title, is "The winds have dropped" and is played here by Lévon Minassian

Other than cooking and sorting, I haven't really done much today. Yesterday, I had work in the morning, and yet again, as on all other recent Sundays,  it was incredibly quiet. I would say, I don't know why we open on a Sunday, but if we didn't, then that would mean me and the other girl, each  taking home over £1000 less per year, an amount that neither of us could really afford to not be paid. So while I wish we didn't have to, I am also rather glad that we do.

It was utterly tipping it down with rain yesterday afternoon, and had to dress up to the nines in wet weather clothing to go to church.  The car park is a little too far away to be able to make a dash for it, and the path also goes through the churchyard, so not only would it feel weird running there, but it is also rather muddy and puddly. When we got into the porch, the benches were covered in an assortment of jackets and umbrellas, even a bicycle, although I don't think anyone was relying on that to keep themselves dry. C arrived while we were shaking ourselves off, with his usual cigarette in hand. Anyway we all went in, there were quite a few more people in there than usual, and where we usually sit, had been reserved by someone by placing a collection bowl and two hymn books on the seat. This left us with a dilemma, having to decide where to sit. Only having had to do this on two previous occasions, once when we first went there, and again at Easter when nearly every seat was taken, we really didn't know where to sit for the best, but opted for the back, behind everyone else. It was another enjoyable service, with great hymns again. I have no idea who picks them, but they are great for a good old sing. We had one that I love, "Come Holy Spirit, our souls inspire" we had one last week sung to the same tune but different. This is the Third time we have had that one since we have been going, so someone else obviously likes it too. When it came to Communion, I wasn't the only one not to go up for a change, so I didn't feel so much of a sore thumb. Thing is though, as each week goes by it gets more difficult somehow, I feel like shouting let me up there for heavens sake, and while I know I can be blessed, it doesn't seem right, not that being blessed feels wrong, but that going up, and kneeling in the line and not receiving, like I am interloping in something so special, between everyone else, and Jesus, not that anyone makes me feel that way, it is just how I feel myself. I just wish I could take Communion. I feel quite sad that I cant yet, and have to wait on the Bishop to have a space in his diary to enable me to  do so. Not that I am having a go at him for being busy, just that it at times seems to me that if a person wants with all their heart and soul to take Communion, then surely that should be enough to enable them to do so, and if done without thought or reason then that is something they will have to sort out between themselves and God.  

Sorry about that, it is just how I am feeling right now, well, also how I feel every time I go to church to be honest, I realise that a great many people will disagree with me, but I wonder how many who do, do so from the privileged position of having been confirmed when they were young, and never having to have sat though Communion and not take part, despite it being their dearest wish to do so and wanting to with all their heart.

I didn't manage to say much to the vicar, as I expected, but that was more due to the fact that there were a lot of people for him to get through saying goodbye to. He did ask us if we were going on Holiday anywhere though, just as I was thinking of mentioning something an old boy who goes there sometimes popped up, impatient to leave as his wife was waiting for him out in the car park, so we left to let him say his good byes. 

Anyway, it is now rather late, and I have work in the morning, so really I should get to bed. So night night.