Hello, only me.

Back at last. so what have I got to say for myself then?  Well, last time I blogged I had booked a few days up in North Wales for a bit of a getaway, and hadn't yet gone, so I will start with that. 

We arrived there on the Wednesday afternoon (18th November), just as it had become dark, and also just as the weather was getting going. It was the same time as they had the dreadful weather up in Cumbria, and although it was nowhere near as bad in the mountains of Wales it was still quite wild. Over the next few hours the wind and rain all got a bit insane, as the cottage backed onto a patch of woodland the noise from the trees in the wind and the rain, made it sound like a massive jet was flying inches above us, constantly for almost 48 hours. On the Thursday we had to venture out, as we realised we had left some vegetables behind at home, and didn't fancy dinner without them. We set out in over 60mph winds and the heaviest rain imaginable (however we were in the car) to drive into Beddgelert to the shop. As we were pulling down the farm track, three people and a dog appeared, heading along the one path up Snowdon, which literally went past our front door. Not only was the fact amazing, given the current weather conditions, but they were also seriously under dressed, the lady was dressed in desert boots and a cheap pac-a-mac, the man was in shorts and the son looked exceedingly unhappy to be out in it, as did the poor dog, who had been put in a bright yellow visibility vest. I felt like running up to them and saying "Are you insane, haven't you noticed the weather?" But as we passed them by we greeting them, and they seemed entirely happy in their little expedition, so thought it best not to mention, and let them go on their way.  Not something I would have wanted to do though, but each to their own.

On arriving at Beddgelert, after passing through some minor floods on the road, we pulled up in the car-park ad realised we were the only ones there, did everyone know something that we didn't? Slightly worried at that we made our way to the shop in the rain. The place was completely deserted, we couldn't believe our eyes really. One we had rootled round the shop for what we needed, we went to pay, and the lady behind the till said "You've got the place to yourselves today, but thats not surprising given the floods, even the Caernarfon road is now closed because of the floods" At this point we got a little worried, as that was the very road we had just come in on, and thought about the rather large flood that had started forming along the road at the end of the track. Needless to say, we hurried back, but it must have been further along the road than us.

Safely ensconced we sat down and listened to the weather, and tried to get a fire going, but the wind was going across the chimney so fast, it made life very difficult.

The next day (Friday) the weather finally calmed down and turned into a rather lovely day, so we went for a drive into Caernarfon for a late lunch and a wander. Was very quiet there too.  

When we arrived back at the cottage, I got the keys to open up the cottage, and got out of the car, open the front door, and heard MLO say "Oh no you haven't". I turned around wondering what I had done, and looked at his face, then at the car.  As he had got out from the car, he shut the door behind him, as you do, and the keys were still in the ignition. Next thing, for whatever reason it was, the car chose to lock itself, with the keys still sat there in the ignition. Why the central locking went off, we had no idea. Nor did we have much of an idea how we were supposed to get into the car, as the master key was still at home 140 miles away. Not the best start to an evening. Just at that moment the farmer walked across, and we explained to him what had happened to us, he told us to wait there and called his brother over to us, who had just arrived on holiday in his new motorhome  (new to him anyway), it turned out he had AA membership, and was covered if he was a passenger, so off he went and told them he had been in our car when it happened, an hour later and a very obliging AA man turned up and broke into our car in a most professional manner indeed. Shockingly easy with nothing more than a wedge, a blow up bag and a length of wire. After all the excitement once he had gone, we retired for a nice cup of tea.

Next the, Saturday was time to leave, and go home, we left just before 11. The weather wasn't too bad again, so I suggested we went for a walk round a lake, somewhere I had been years bore with school, and wanted to show MLO how lovely it was. One thing I hadn't taken into account though was the amount of rain we had had, something like 20 inches while we had been there. The lovely path around the lake was now several feet underwater with no other way possible, so we decided to have a late breakfast in a local cafe instead. Caffi Gwynant at Nant Gwynant, who I must say do a lovely breakfast. We chose to go there as we were told by the farmers  who owned the cottage that it was run by a man who used to be head chef at the Portmeirion Hotel. 

After that we called in at Betws Y coed, as no visit to Snowdonia would be complete without it. We wandered around, and as we were the rain was getting heavier and heavier, thank goodness for good waterproofs is all I can say. MLO saw there was a bit of an antique fair on at the church, so he went in , and I went and sat in the dry of the church for a while and had a few quiet minutes. 

After that we made our way to the Alpine cafe for a lovely cup of tea. (If you are ever in Betws, visit here just to see the amazing menu of various teas you can have, it would take months to drink your way through it). Finally we made our way home, and stopped for dinner at a pub in Shropshire somewhere. ( It was The Pound at Leebotwood) Where a lovely meal, ended a lovely holiday.

Back home, and the next day (Sunday) was church in the morning, which was fun, the In the afternoon, was the first confirmation class. I arrived with a couple of minutes to spare, unsure of what awaited in the room. There were three others already there, raring to go. M who is ten and a little shy, J who is 13 and incredibly intelligent for his age,  A,  who like me is quite the far side of 20, the vicar and myself. But, horror of horrors  the chairs had been arranged in a circle , and I am never really comfortable with that. After a few introductions, we all spoke about why we had decided that we wanted to be confirmed, what we thought of God and all about ourselves. M didn't speak for the whole class, she was too shy. Poor thing. Once that was finished, off home, quick drink and on to evening church.  

The week at work was quiet, nothing new there, so nothing to say either.

The following Sunday, I was working in the morning, so missed morning church. I got home from worked, showered, and got ready, then confirmation class at 4.  It was all about prayer this week. He asked us to speak about our life, and what part prayer had t o play in it. When it came to me, I joked that I had prayed to find a parking space in town, before.  Mr Vicar then asked if it had worked, and I had to admit that it had. Only thing was, I realised that it had probably sounded like I didn't really take it all that seriously when in fact I do. I just didn't want to say in front of everyone how much I pray, and how I pray, after they had all said that they didn't pray much, and appear as though I was showing off, or trying to go one better.  So kept schtum on that. We then watched a video, about silence, not surprisingly , there wasn't an awful lot said, but messages appeared on the screen, every so often to get the message across. Afterwards, we spoke about the video, and silence, how important it is to us to have silence. The fact that we tend to use sound, music, TV, talking etc, as a means to avoid really thinking about ourselves, and finding out about ourselves, to run away from ourselves I suppose. And that we really need the silence to be able to start listening, listening to God.

I suppose I am lucky in a way, in that I don't mind silence, and am quite content to be silent for hours on end, whether praying, thinking, working or just lazing. But that is in part due to how I grew up I think, where TV wasn't always on, and I was perfectly happy to go upstairs and read, or think, without music playing. So I guess I'm just used to it. I also think that it is why I tend to think so much. I am always thinking about something, there is always some random thought popping into my head, and I really do mean random at times. Some people would probably just call it an overactive imagination, but it has come in very useful, and has helped me to be more able to see myself for who I really am. I try to imagine myself from other peoples point of view, and then try to work out what they think of me. Which can be a bit of a pain when you realise someone who is talking to you really isn't interested in talking to you at all. I can never work that one out, if you aren't interested, why bother, or at least attempt to find some common ground to talk about. But, never mind.

The vicar sent us off with a little practical, to sit quietly and to basically meditate on God - although he didn't put it like that, I think that was the gist of it. I tried to imagine, I had not really prayed before, and did what he had suggested, for the first few times I kept getting distracted, whether by noises outside, or thoughts in my head. Then some of the most bizarre thoughts came to mind.  

I tried again. Several times in the past when I had been praying, there was an odd sensation almost like I could no longer feel my arms and legs, (either that or they had gone to sleep from the way I was knelt) almost if I was falling out of myself, if that makes any sense, which looking at it, it doesn't, and I began to feel a bit like that again, then nothing, complete nothingness, not empty though, hard to describe, like it was full. And I stayed like it for a few minute, then opened my eyes again. I felt quite chuffed as I thought I had managed about 5 minutes, then I glanced at the clock, it was an hour later. What, I lost an hour???  What happened there. I came to the conclusion I must have fallen asleep, but wasn't so sure, as I was sure I remembered, and definitely decided to open my eyes as a conscious thought. Whatever, if I had fallen asleep for the hour, it was a blooming good sleep, because I felt incredibly relaxed and refreshed. Must do it again sometime.  ( I must add at this point, I'm not mad, at least I don't think I am)

Anyway, on that note, I must go to bed. It is late and I have to be off tomorrow (later on this morning) to see mum, either in Worcester, or Birmingham. Haven't decided yet.

It is rather a long time since I last blogged, but, up until yesterday, there really was nothing worth writing about, just the usual work and day to day stuff.

However yesterday, was my Saturday off, so went up to Birmingham to go and see mum. After having visited Birmingham every other Saturday off, I had become a little bored with it, and so decided to go and visit elsewhere. Yesterday was the turn of Coventry. Poor old Coventry is not the most pleasant of cities, although if you leave the main center of the town, there are some lovely Medieval areas left to explore, and of course there are the two cathedrals, which were the main reason for our visit. 

On Friday night when I was mooching around on the net for inspiration of where to visit, I found out about a rail ticket that I had not previously known about, that allowed me to have unlimited travel in an area from Crewe to Stoke in the north, west to Shrewsbury, Gobowen and Hereford in the west, and Northampton, Lichfield and Stratford in the east and South, all for only £3.40 more than my regular return ticket, which seemed like stunning value, so of course, I bought one.

In the end, we only went to Coventry, as we took so long there, but still it was a saving.  I had been to the  new cathedral previously, and have gone from hating the sight of it when I first saw it years ago, to actually thinking of it as really lovely and incredibly impressive this time, it is definitely a building that grows on you, given the chance, but on first impressions I think you either love it or don't.   When you first go in, it does look incredible grey and industrial, but that is before you see the incredible stained glass windows and the tapestry. As you walk along the cathedral to the top, the windows are revealed one by on, until looking back you see every one glowing thee full height of the cathedral building.

When we arrived there was a choir practicing, with the organ accompanying them, so were treated to  some wonderful music, and standing dead center between the two halves of the organ when it was in full belt, was rather amazing, a group of German tourists were stood there some with their mouths open at how amazing it sounded, and with the choir singing center ahead of us, truly spectacular.

Before we went into the new cathedral , we had had a wander round the old one. Even though most of the body of the building was missing,, parts of the walls too and the roof completely and utterly absent, it still felt very much like a cathedral, and would be a lovely place for a service on a hot summers (dry) day. When we came to leaving the cathedral, we happened to have a look outside, and the rain was hammering down. Again. I was lucky in that I remembered to put my waterproof jacket in my bag that morning, and so we ventured out into it, it got so heavy at one point that there was a mist almost 2 or 3 feet high from the rain hitting the ground. We got about 20 yards, then decided that being out in the rain was not so wise, and dived into the cathedral shop, as had quite a few others. Had a bit of a look round, then mum decided we should go to the Transport museum, also in the city center. Quite a fascinating place, with vehicles from Victorian times to the present day, including a rather gorgeous brand new Jaguar. The Thrust SSC, holder of the world land speed record, breaking the sound barrier and reaching a speed of 763mph. Unfortunately as we had arrived at the museum only and hour before they were due to close, they had closed off some of the areas of the museum, including the one with the Thrust. Bit of a bugger really, but as it cost nothing to get in, will visit again soon.

On to Sunday, and church this morning, quite enjoyable. As the vicar is away at a New Wine thing this week, along with about 40 of the congregation, we had a lady from the Cathedral doing the service. She explained about the precautions to do with swine flu, and said as such, there would be no wine whatsoever, not even for dipping the bread in, slightly ott really. She then said we were to refrain from shaking hands at the peace, just nod at each other, this didn't go down to well.  She explained that the Bishop had sent them memo's with the guidelines on,  at that point a woman stood up, and said, in a rather consternated voice "I think you will find it was actually the Archbishop" , then promptly sat down again. Left the poor vicar slightly taken aback a bit, and then  she explained to everyone that the Archbishop had indeed originally set out what should be done, but that the Bishop of Hereford had been the one who had it said to her. Not quite sure what the woman thought she was achieving, in standing up and saying that, but she said it in such a way that it was almost as if she was implying the vicar was lying. When the vicar had explained, a good many people looked at the woman as if to say "Thats you told then". Quite amusing really. 

In the afternoon, we went over to the west of Hereford to a place called Kinnersley Castle, for a book launch of Phil Rickman's new book Merrily's Border, all about the place mentioned in his novels, with photographs and a bit of history to go with them. A very atmospheric old house, but nice and homely. There was a couple of tables there with various books, one with all Phil Rickmans novels for sale, including the ones he wrote under the name Will Kingdom, and on the other were books from his current books publisher Logaston Press. There were so many people there, wandering all over the house and gardens. Wine was there as were nibbles. When we arrived people were sat all over the place, up the stairs on sofas, lovely and relaxed there, not at all like any other book launch I remember. Phil Rickman himself was playing in the band on guitar, sounded pretty good too. A bit folky sounding for my taste, but still good. Well I made my purchase and MLO and I went off for a bit of a mooch around, the came in and went in the one room where he had encamped, to get my book signed. An hour or so later, we decided to go. Just as we were leaving we passed a car where, because of the wet the man had got himself into a pretty impressive rut, and who then decided the best way to get out of it would be to rev as hard as he could. Not the cleverest of plans. So MLO and I decided we had better help them. We got behind the car, and we said that if we rocked the car it should come free quite easily, so we rocked, and rocked a bit more, and rocked it forward far enough that Mr driver finally found some grip and got free. In return MLO and I got extremely muddy feet. Fun though.
We got home, and before we had had time to turn around, we had to get back off for evening church. We had a different vicar again, who did things a bit differently to the regular vicar, but everyone has a different way.
Anyway, that is me up to date, at last. Not sure what I will be doing tomorrow, so not sure if I will blog yet or not, will see how it goes. TTFN etc.

I am currently sat in the study, wondering where Sunday afternoon and today have gone to. Way way way too fast for my liking. Work again tomorrow. Hasn't been too bad a day today though, quite enjoyable really. Decided to be quite ruthless with myself, and have started going through a load of my old things, have found bags of things that I wont mind getting rid of, which is quite an accomplishment when I don't have an awful lot, but obviously quite a bit more than I first thought. Books, magazines, old computer games and things, clothes, lotions and potions that I have never started or opened, films I no longer want and music that I have got fed up with, not sure whether to do a car boot, or just take it to a couple of charity shops in Hereford. I think the charity shop idea sounds better.    

I made a blackberry, apple and raspberry crumble for pudding tonight, it started out life as a blackberry and apple crumble, but I remembered some polish raspberry syrup I had bought and so added a couple of tablespoons of that to it, very nice , with hot custard. MLO said he enjoyed it, so did his mum, which was quite surprising. 

Yesterday when I was getting ready for church, I was listening to Radio 3, when the most beautiful piece of music came on, I cant remember the exact title unfortunately, but I think it was called  "When the winds have stopped", and was a man called Gasparyan, on an Armenian instrument called a duduk, with the Bulgarian Orchestra. The most hauntingly beautiful piece of music I have heard for a long time. I tried googling it, but no luck, but did find plenty different music of his, including two albums on Spotify.

Ah, after doing a bit more searching around on youtube, I don't think that it was in fact Gasparyan playing, I think he must just have been mentioned in passing. The title, is "The winds have dropped" and is played here by Lévon Minassian

Other than cooking and sorting, I haven't really done much today. Yesterday, I had work in the morning, and yet again, as on all other recent Sundays,  it was incredibly quiet. I would say, I don't know why we open on a Sunday, but if we didn't, then that would mean me and the other girl, each  taking home over £1000 less per year, an amount that neither of us could really afford to not be paid. So while I wish we didn't have to, I am also rather glad that we do.

It was utterly tipping it down with rain yesterday afternoon, and had to dress up to the nines in wet weather clothing to go to church.  The car park is a little too far away to be able to make a dash for it, and the path also goes through the churchyard, so not only would it feel weird running there, but it is also rather muddy and puddly. When we got into the porch, the benches were covered in an assortment of jackets and umbrellas, even a bicycle, although I don't think anyone was relying on that to keep themselves dry. C arrived while we were shaking ourselves off, with his usual cigarette in hand. Anyway we all went in, there were quite a few more people in there than usual, and where we usually sit, had been reserved by someone by placing a collection bowl and two hymn books on the seat. This left us with a dilemma, having to decide where to sit. Only having had to do this on two previous occasions, once when we first went there, and again at Easter when nearly every seat was taken, we really didn't know where to sit for the best, but opted for the back, behind everyone else. It was another enjoyable service, with great hymns again. I have no idea who picks them, but they are great for a good old sing. We had one that I love, "Come Holy Spirit, our souls inspire" we had one last week sung to the same tune but different. This is the Third time we have had that one since we have been going, so someone else obviously likes it too. When it came to Communion, I wasn't the only one not to go up for a change, so I didn't feel so much of a sore thumb. Thing is though, as each week goes by it gets more difficult somehow, I feel like shouting let me up there for heavens sake, and while I know I can be blessed, it doesn't seem right, not that being blessed feels wrong, but that going up, and kneeling in the line and not receiving, like I am interloping in something so special, between everyone else, and Jesus, not that anyone makes me feel that way, it is just how I feel myself. I just wish I could take Communion. I feel quite sad that I cant yet, and have to wait on the Bishop to have a space in his diary to enable me to  do so. Not that I am having a go at him for being busy, just that it at times seems to me that if a person wants with all their heart and soul to take Communion, then surely that should be enough to enable them to do so, and if done without thought or reason then that is something they will have to sort out between themselves and God.  

Sorry about that, it is just how I am feeling right now, well, also how I feel every time I go to church to be honest, I realise that a great many people will disagree with me, but I wonder how many who do, do so from the privileged position of having been confirmed when they were young, and never having to have sat though Communion and not take part, despite it being their dearest wish to do so and wanting to with all their heart.

I didn't manage to say much to the vicar, as I expected, but that was more due to the fact that there were a lot of people for him to get through saying goodbye to. He did ask us if we were going on Holiday anywhere though, just as I was thinking of mentioning something an old boy who goes there sometimes popped up, impatient to leave as his wife was waiting for him out in the car park, so we left to let him say his good byes. 

Anyway, it is now rather late, and I have work in the morning, so really I should get to bed. So night night. 

As the weathermen promised, it has started to rain. They said it would arrive at about four this afternoon, and, at four this afternoon, just as we were promised, it started to rain. Not a gentle warming up either, it really went for it and started tipping it down almost immediately. For the next two hours it was almost like a monsoon outside, but then as suddenly as it started, it stopped again. It is still dry as I write this (20 past 10), but we have been warned to expect dreadful weather tomorrow. Thunder lightning, high winds and more torrential rain. So long as nowhere gets flooded out, I shall be loving every moment of it.  Although as we have been more or less promised this weather, I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up coming to nothing, it is suspiciously calm and dry outside right now. 

Today at work was as usual, quiet, so no surprises there. Managed to get quite a bit more reading done with all the peace and quiet  -Sometimes my job can be wonderful. 

I watched the new X files movie the other night after I had gone to bed, MLO had bought it in one of the sales in town.  Not a patch on the old series, no depth, and the characters didn't act like themselves, and the plot -what on earth was that all about? Sorry, you can probably tell I was less than impressed. After loving the X files from when I was in school, and the first movie carrying on where the series left off, to be presented with the pile of drivel that is the second movie, I was not impressed. Rant over, but it could have been so very much better. 

Oh well, am off to bed now, and I think I will watch Waking Ned, or Father Ted, not sure which yet. But both side splittingly funny.  Off to bed now, so night night. 

Well, here we are, Wednesday again. Although as I type, it is still Tuesday night as far as I am concerned.

We have had a couple of interesting days weather wise here. Monday was lovely up until about ten last night, and the heavens opened. Blimey, I have never seen rain so heavy in all my life. Within half a minute, the water was 3 inches deep outside the front door, it could not drain away fast enough. The gutters were all overflowing, even though they are clean. Mad rain. Then came the thunder and lightning. Pretty spectacular. Very cool when the thunder booms and you can still hear it ages later as it rolls around and echoes off the surrounding hills. The lightning was the sort that lights up the whole sky, the odd thing about it was I was sure I could smell it. Very peculiar indeed. The weather lasted a couple of hours, then faded away into nothing, and Tuesday started off with bright glorious sunshine. That's how the day stayed too, got fairly warm this afternoon, and has started to feel humid, so no doubt we will be getting rain tomorrow.

Had to put the price of petrol up again by four pence per litre. The price now stands at £1.08 per litre for both diesel and unleaded petrol. So, understandably custom was down yet again. as far as I can gather, so my boss informs me anyway,  the so called shortage was actually engineered by the oil companies in this country in order to  push the price up. Rather underhanded if it is true, and even seems slightly illegal to me, but then I know nothing about the laws of this country, so am probably completely wrong, still doesn't seem right though.

Other than the price of fuel not much to tell about work. A couple of our farmer customers stopped by for fuel and a bit of a chat. A lot of the talk was about Dairy Farmers of Britain. Quite a few local farmers were part of the cooperative, and quite apart from the fact that they wont be paid for the milk they produced last month, a lot also had money invested in the company, just four I know of will have lost between them almost half a million pounds. Money that they could not afford to lose. The amount of jobs that are expected to be lost in the company, and also on farms where staff can no longer be paid, is expected to exceed the total job loss at LDV, there will be no government help for the farmers here though. Farmers and farming seem to be last in the list of government priorities.

Vicar rang up yesterday evening, but for some reason my mobile didn't ring just went straight to answerphone, and then didn't inform me until over an hour later, otherwise I could have rung back. I have managed to wheedle out of MLO some more info on what he may or may not have said. Seems he did say something. What do I say to the vicar now? I feel like running for cover and hiding under a pile of rocks about it all. I really wanted to leave it quite a while yet before anything was said, and now it is all wrong. Much too soon. But hey, maybe it is the right time, and I just haven't realised it yet, maybe it's what should happen. I wont know till I call the vicar back, just have no idea what to say?  There I go again, worrying about things that haven't happened yet. I'm pretty good at that lately. If MLO did say what I am now pretty certain he did say, I can't pretend that he was lying, or making it up. Bummer. I actually ended up listening to the answerphone message more than once, to see what I could pick up from the tone of his voice, and attempt to figure out what he was thinking. No use though, I think the only thing I found out, is that he probably doesn't like answerphones.

I Will call back tomorrow, all he said was that, unfortunately his evenings in June were pretty much taken up already, and would like to have a chat with me, left his study number, and said he looked forward to hearing from me soon.  If I can't get through before Sunday, it will be a little awkward in church, I know that. 

Oh what the heck. I could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow, I will just go wherever I am taken.  Forget about worrying, and what people think, I should be out there screaming from the rooftops. That's even how I feel sometimes. 

 I am going to stop now, if I carry on I will tie my brain up in knots. Am off to bed after a couple of games of minesweeper. So night night everyone.

Well, it has been a very quiet weekend all round for me. Not having any petrol to sell, meant having to turn away an increasingly large number of people, some understanding, some very much the opposite. That is the one thing that annoys me about working where I do, for the most part the people who come into the shop are lovely friendly and chatty people, but there is always one who seems to think that we are doing everything we can to inconvenience them, and doing so deliberately. Amazing the language that some people use and how personal the remarks can be if they feel aggrieved. When that happens, there is so much temptation to tell them precisely what I think of them at that moment, but quite apart from it not being the done thing for staff to abuse the customers, it would just result in me doing exactly what I am annoyed at the customer for doing. Solves nothing. But what are you supposed to do when a customer on finding out we have sold out of petrol, then asks you in an extremely threatening manner, "What you going to do about it then", and who then refuses to listen when you explain there isn't a lot that we can do, but let him know where he can get some from. Usually that kind of customer leaves the shop swearing worse than a trooper. What did it achieve? Do these people think they can intimidate me into saying, "Sorry sir, I lied, we actually have plenty of petrol, just pulling your leg there, terribly sorry?" Wonder why I bother some days.

Anyway, rant over. The weather has been utterly lovely again this weekend, pretty warm yesterday and today.  Had a short and very sharp rainstorm this evening, which led to a mad dash round the house in a race to get all the windows shut before the house was deluged. Ten minutes later and it was all over, and business as usual as far as the sun was concerned. Only a week left till the longest day, once that is over and done with winter seems to be there before you realise it. It is still partially light out as I write this (23:34 pm),lovely.

It was the Hampton Bishop church fete yesterday, which I missed due to working, but MLO made an appearance there. Quite a good turn out of people by all accounts. It was the vicars first ever country fete, so hope he enjoyed it. When MLO was there, the vicar went up to him, and mentioned that he hadn't been in touch, the office had lost my details, so he got MLO to write them down for him. He promised to be in touch in the week. Yay. :-) One thing though, MLO was being a little cryptic with me, and I am a little suspicious that he may have told the vicar everything, absolutely everything. One part of me thinks, if he has then Woo, I don't have to tackle that, but unfortunately the larger part of me, is worried about the fact that he may have done, as it really, and most certainly was not the right time. But as I think I have said before, "What will be will be".  I was unable to get to church today, MLO  had to go to a service at his mums church, one of the Lay readers was being made an Emeritus, quite an honour, so of course there was a nice big service with wine and nibbles to follow. Apparently it was a lovely service. As the service there was at the same time as the service we would have usually gone to, MLO couldn't manage to go, and as I don't drive, it was something of a problem, I could have walked, but that was either 3 ish miles through very overgrown river meadows, or much further along the main roads. I suppose a taxi would have helped, but at their Sunday rate, that would have been a minimum of £20 each way, not an amount I would be willing to pay. It really sounds as if I am making excuses here, but I'm not. MLO did let them know we wouldn't be there.  

I am looking forward to hearing from the vicar this coming week, not sure what I will say, if it does indeed turn out that MLO told him everything, but hopefully it wont be mentioned, and we will just have a chat about being baptised.  MLO wont tell me one way or the other whether he said anything or not, even when I press him on it, all he will say is "The jobs a good 'un", which could be taken to mean anything. I could scream sometimes. 

It has been another one of those days, where it feels as if God is trying to tell me something, or perhaps more specifically to get me to see something, or work something out, and  as usual, I'm here thinking "What?" utterly missing the point or gist of it all, and feeling rather bemused and perplexed again.  Time for some quiet time again I think. As I have been on every day this week, combined with going shopping and everything else that needs doing, I have had very little real opportunity for uninterrupted peace and quiet. Just squeezing in prayers in the morning and evening. I should have spent more time reflecting during them. 

When we left for work this morning, there was a mad little spider sunning itself on the car window, I had to take a picture of it, sorry about the quality, but it was taken on my phone. After looking it up, I think he is a jumping spider if some sort, no idea on the specifics unfortunately.He is strangely cute though in a spidery sort of way.

I have run out of things to blog about now, and as it is past my bedtime, I think that is where I should be headed right now, so night night. 

Well that's Wednesday all done with. I will shortly be off to bed, as to be quite honest, I am knackered. Didn't manage to get any sleep last night again, not until about half past four anyway. Was up at seven, I couldn't manage half six, no way Jose could I. Got to work at eight, and finished just after seven tonight, then straight off shopping with MLO, and eventually got home at just after nine. As I am on holiday cover this week, I have ended up doing an eleven hour day, for the whole week. Tiring is not the word. Will Be glad when Sunday comes, as I only have to do a four hour day then. 

I shouldn't really complain though, at least I have a job. It was lovely and busy this morning, but it tailed off towards the afternoon. That could have had something to do with the weather though, as it certainly got a bit thundery later on, after lunch. Lovely purple grey and yellow overcast sky, lashing rain on and off, and  plenty of thunder to add to the mix. I love really stormy weather, I absolutely Love it. If I hadn't been at work, I would probably have been outside in it, screaming like a banshee while running around with my arms in the air. I have no idea why I feel the need to do that in stormy weather, but it sure is fun.  

Off to bed now. Night night. 

Today it rained, not before time too. But rain being rain, even if it is welcome it is never really welcome. We always moan about it, no matter how long we have been without it, or how much we need it, if I commented on the weather to someone and mentioned the rain, at least half of the replies I would get would be "it always rains in this country". It must be a British thing to say, at the least it IS a very British thing to constantly talk about the weather. It is not a stereotype either, we really do. Most often the first thing we will say in a conversation will along the lines of "Ooh, isn't the weather nice/nasty/hot/cold/windy/still today". I think it is part of our national psyche.

Anyway. I had another day off work (Aren't I the lucky one), although by the end of the week I will still have managed to rack up 49 hours worth, so I am not being lazy or anything. The weather conditions put paid to any gardening or outdoor tasks today, and also scuppered my chance of doing any more clothes washing, as I couldn't dry them (and I absolutely refuse to buy a tumble drier - wasteful things).
So the day was spent indoors. I didn't even cook, MLOs mother did that today, so had shepherds pie and cabbage for lunch, and a cheese and onion sandwich for my tea. The height of sophistication really :-).
I have actually spent a large proportion of this evening on the internet browsing around and not doing much in particular. I did find a couple of websites that were quite useful and downloaded a few new brushes for photoshop, downloaded a theme maker for my, and MLOs mobile phones, and quite a bit of time on Twitter. I love that website, it is really enjoyable seeing what everyone is up to. Brilliant way of doing it, and I really like the fact you cant go above 140 characters, I think if anything it makes you more likely to tweet as you never have to go into too much detail about what you are doing.
It is late again, so most definitely time for bed. Have said prayers etc, it has been a nice peaceful calm day today God was most certainly there with me today, a calmness I would find it hard to describe, and such a feeling of peace. Beautiful. I love God, I love Jesus and I love the Holy Spirit, I love everyone and I love the world. I really love everything.
On that note night night.