lots of writing

Yesterday, I mentioned I had gone for a little talk with the vicar, mainly about being baptised,  and at the end mister vicar  suggested that I write something about where God has been and still is, and also to go over my life and find anything that may be unresolved in my life, and try to work it out of my system. Well, true to my word, as I said I would do it, I started at work this morning (it was a very quiet morning), I wrote and wrote, then wrote some more. Amazing what I remembered when I put my mind to it, and remembering one thing, would lead to me remembering something else, I could hardly keep up with my brain. Not sure what happened, but I decided to stop for a while and get some proper work done, and found I had written almost 20 full A4 sheets. Haven't read what I wrote, will do that tomorrow, but I certainly hadn't finished writing . Upon reading I will probably discover that it is just a pile of repetitive drivel, but then again, I may just surprise myself.

Have put a picture in of a lady writing, not because it particularly represents me, but the blog had become a little dull looking lately. So a spot of gratuitous picture posting was in order. And also because it is a rather lovely painting, by Jan Vermeer.

Anyway, have been in the most ridiculously happy mood today, the sort that people start giving you funny looks over and then start questioning your sanity. Absolutely over the moon about something I am. 

Just a short post today, as I want to go to bed now. So nighty night.

Chat with the vicar

Today was the day when I had to go and see the vicar for a chat. Not quite sure why, but I was a little nervous, I shouldn't have been. The aim of the chat was to sort out why I wanted to be baptised and confirmed. That's what I had assumed anyway. Not sure exactly what happened though. We did talk about it for a few minutes, but not long at all, although this was probably just my fault, when he asked me why? The best answer I could give him, was that it was something I felt that I needed to do, fully expecting him to ask me to be a bit more specific, or that he would think I was being a bit flakey. Instead, after I had apologised for not being able to describe it in a more precise way, or define my thoughts more accurately, he actually said that it was great that I had such a strong feeling in me. "oh ....ok.., I thought. I was so relieved when he said that. I was dreading what I was going to say, and in the end just told him what I really thought and felt, and it was fine, and he was fine about it too. Then, the conversation veered offtrack somehow, I now know more than I ever wished to know about the parish finances, how much the parish share is each year, which was shockingly large, what the annual turnover is, how the PCC goes about it's business, and other stuff like how many staff they employ for the various concerns,  and the fact that he is run off his feet, waiting for a curate, but apparently he is still waiting to hear about that one. He is getting a youth worker from Buckingham way in September I think he said, and then said rather than saving him work, it will just add to his workload. He also said he has to spend far more time doing paperwork than he would wish, and couldn't spend as much time out and about the parish as he wanted. Apparently the parish of the town church includes over 12,000 people, several schools and a hospital. That is a lot of people to get round. Maybe he was just telling me all this to see if he could scare me away from the idea of being a priest? He then told me about the direction he wanted to take the church (and gave me a little printout to illustrate the point). In particular, he wanted to involve everyone in the service, including preaching etc, but not doing communion, obviously. He said last Sunday at the 10 am service two people took it, who were a bit like me (slightly bizarre, far too colourfully dressed and oh so slightly mad?), but no,  he said who were looking to perhaps become priests one day.  He then asked me a few other things about where God had been in my life, and also said, due to the Bishop being rather busy, it could be months before I am baptised and confirmed, and asked if I was ok with that. Which I was, it will give me time to attempt to get my head round exactly what it means. He said that he wanted me to be done in a regular service, either at the country church or the town church, and to do the both together, which is kind of what I had assumed would happen anyway, but it seems that he has special services for baptisms of babies each week in addition to the normal church services, and that he was fully booked up until the end of  January. He then mentioned how I felt about other stuff, and what I felt I should do, and I said to him that I really felt I needed to be baptised and confirmed before I started to think about going anywhere with that,  he than said "So you want to take it at your own pace then?", and I nodded, he said that was great and fine also.  

At a point in the chat I said where I was born, where I had been to church before etc, and then strangely enough he asked me if I had been baptised before, what sort of a question was that, why did he think I was there. Even more odd was his reaction when I told him no; he was genuinely surprised. I'm mystified to say the least, but there you go. 

We talked about other things, and at one point, after I had said that I had never met my father, not that I remember anyway, he said that his father had left them when he was three years old, he seemed quite sad about it, wheras I, never having known him, and my mother never talking about him never really missed him. Although I did attempt to trace him a few years back, I thought at the time, I should find out who he was and is. But realised that so long had passed, and he could be a happily married man with a family, and I really wasn't all that worried, so stopped looking. The vicar then went on to say that a good thing for me to do, would be to write something on where I have felt God has been throughout my life, and my life in general, including any issues I may have secretly locked away inside, and to try and work them all out to know myself better. He said he did this when he first started looking and it helped him a lot. So I will have a go at that.

He ended the chat asking if I would like to pray with him, yes please I answered, and he said the loveliest prayer about God being in my life, asking him to guide me thanking him for the grace that he had given me. Problem is, I can't remember all of what he said my mind is a blank on that. I remember it was very moving though, and remember that God was most definitely there at that time, which was astoundingly wonderful, and great and lovely and marvelous. So I left him a little over an hour after I had arrived, feeling so at peace, more so that I have done for a long time. I thanked him for praying and for his time, and he seemed a little bemused. I also apologised for maybe not doing as much talking as I should, and not saying very much, he replied by saying,"No, that's fine you said quite a lot". When?  I thought. Unless he was being metaphorical, in which case I don't know what to think. 

He did talk about the 10am service a lot, so may just go along to see what that is all about, he says he gets about 150 - 180 usually, and has a lot more modern hymns. Only problem is, it also has projectors a band and a drumkit, which I am extremely dubious of. But the thought of singing away with a church literally full of other people is certainly appealing, just have to convince MLO to ignore the drumkit etc (He would be BCP all the way if he had a choice), he thinks I am am bit hippyfied for preferring Common Worship. 

Yesterday was good at church very very enjoyable. Started the service with one of my very favourite hymns, Lord of all hopefulness had a really brilliant sermon,and three more great hymns. Was quite amusing when we got there, another lady who we hadn't seen before greeted us and asked us if we were visiting.  Twice we have been asked that recently, despite going there regularly for almost four months, more and more people keep popping up, I don't doubt we will be asked again. The last hymns we sang was "O Jesus we have promised, to serve thee to the end" an utterly lovely hymn, whose words seemed very meaningful to me, as I am sure they do to everyone, but after the sermon and everything else, the words seem to speak to me there and then. For some reason, I happened to look towards the front, where the vicar was doing his tidying up thing, and he gave a huge cheesy grin at me, as if to say that ones for you. Now I don't for one moment think that,  but it certainly made me smile so much it was difficult to sing. 

Have even started to enjoy the peace at the country church, going so far as to mill around trying to make sure I get to everyone else, I think it's because it really is a lovely joyful thing with everyone being really genuinely happy to wish everyone else peace with a huge smile on their face. It doesn't feel at all false, just completely natural and lovely. You wouldn't have got me out of the pew a while ago for love nor money. At the town church though the peace (at the 8 am service) has usually felt like it is merely being endured by the congregation, and there is not much joy in it except for the one couple there, the one of whom used to teach MLO at school.

Anyway that's all I can remember for now, and I really need to get to bed, as I have to be at work in seven hours, so night night.

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Saturday night. Sunday morning.

Saturday has been and gone. So too has Friday, where did they both go? The whole of this month, and the last few months too has gone by in a whirl. Someone is nicking time, has to be.

Was pretty spectacularly stormy again yesterday, lots of thunder and excitement in the skies. Love it. As a result, although today was rather hot, it wasn't so muggy as it had been. The perfect day for being at the seaside however, I only think that for the simple reason that I would really have liked to be there rather than at work. Work itself wasn't really all that bad. Not overly quiet, and we did have a busy spell this morning which was nice. Two coach tours went out this morning, one to Eastbourne and Canterbury, and the other to the Isle of Wight, so was all go on the yard for a short time.

P came up for a chat as usual, his sisters husband over in Ireland had died, and was a little sad about that, had tried calling her but hadn't managed to get through. He was quite upset because he couldn't get to Ireland to the funeral. Mr M came in too for a chat, but as MLO was there and as Mr M is quite shy, he didn't stop. he'll be in tomorrow probably. The man with droopy eyes came in again for the first time in months, and the ice cream van man too, so lots of chatty types today which was nice.

MLO needed to go shopping when I finished work this evening, so we went into town, got myself a lovely piece of fish for my tea, which went down a treat.

Mum was gallivanting round Oxfordshire today, Blagdon, Blenheim Palace and Woodstock.

I had a very odd dream last night. I was somewhere in America, at least that's what the houses looked like. It started out with us (myself and whoever I was with, don't know who they were), coming out of house, in front of us was a big old oak tree that was bare, not sure if it winter, or it was dead. One of the big side branches had come down onto a neighbours house and left a hole in the roof, I remember thinking, "Oh well, it could have been a lot worse" next thing, the tree cracks and another huge branch started to come down, I remember at that point realising it was somehow my fault, then woke up, so don't know whether the second branch caused any damage. Don't think I have ever dreamt of trees before. I did dream of Germany a lot once, but not for a long time. Cant explain that one either for that matter. Why do we dream? Quite fun though for the most part, admittedly.

Am now off to bed, see if I dream tonight, if I do I usually remember it. MLO says he never dreams, strange, either that or he does, and just doesn't remember.

Night night.

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R.I.P Michael Jackson


Ooh hasn't today been lovely, well, it has been with us here anyway, a lovely cool start and ending up with glorious warm sunshine. Wonderful. Am writing this, after having been on Twitter, and also just having heard that Michael Jackson has died. I don't know why but it has made me feel quite sad, I suppose because he always seemed so lonely to me. 

The past two days haven't been too bad really, yesterday was a little sweaty, but not too bad, today warmer but fresher, rain must be on the way. Actually rain is on the way, have had a few storm warnings issued, but doubt they will reach here, but you never know. 

It was pretty busy at work today which was wonderful, much much nicer to work when it is busy, instead of waiting up to and hour between customers, which has happened from time to time, people were queueing up.  Yesterday was quite a bit quieter, and we took less than half of what we managed today. 

Have been feeling pretty joyful about everything today, don't ask me to explain, or give a reason why, because I couldn't do so , even if I tried. Everything is making me smile again. I felt like giving complete strangers big hugs and bursting into song all the time. It's great. :-)

Only four more days until I go to see the vicar about being baptised and stuff. I say stuff, because after what My Lovely Other said to him, I think I should come clean about precisely what my reasons are for wanting to be baptised (or "dunked" as MLO so eloquently puts it)  and confirmed, strangely I am now looking forward to telling him. I want to get it off my chest so to speak.  

Weird that I feel higher than a kite about everything today. Will enjoy it while it lasts. 

Muggy weather and fuel thieves.

Tuesday night, and yet again it is far too hot and muggy for comfort. It was like this yesterday, we were doing a spot of spring cleaning (or early summer cleaning), ended up frying. 

Apart from the housework yesterday was rather uneventful, it did rain for a couple of minutes, which we thought might freshen the place up a touch, but in the end it just made it even more humid and muggy.

Today at work wasn't too bad, up until the end that is. Had some numpty who decided that paying for the fuel he/she had just little drivead, rated the least important of their concerns at that time, and promptly drove off, without so much as a bye or leave. Didn't even manage to get their registration or description, as one of our coaches was parked across the front of the shop while it filled up with diesel.  Never thought for one moment that someone could do that, just because we couldn't see them, they obviously felt ok about buggering off, and stealing the fuel. Not nice. Pretty rotten having to tell El Bosso, he obviously wasn't impressed, but there wasn't a lot I could do. As soon as I heard the engine start up, I shot outside, but they had disappeared into the sunset.  Mr boss will never know who it was either, as he refuses to put cctv cameras up on the forecourt, despite us asking, so no way of seeing. We did say that there should be cameras for our safety as much as anything, but he wont listen. He has however put cameras all over the working areas of the drivers and men, so he can keep an eye on them and make sure they don't stop working when they shouldn't.  I am really annoyed that someone would do that.

When I finished this evening, I came home, and MLO said he had to take some samples to a farm, so I went with him for a nice little drive. Near the farm, we came across a buzzard in the road pulling at something dead, as we got closer the buzzard just stared at us as if he was willing us to leave him alone to finish his dinner. Quite amusing. When he realised we weren't going to go, it had a last beakful, glared at us and flapped off into a nearby tree. After that we went shopping for some bread and milk. Got home just after quarter to eleven, and had a salami sandwich for supper. 

Am just about to enjoy a nice cup of coffee, then off to bed. No work for me tomorrow, or for MLO, rare event us both being off together, so will enjoy it. Will go to the library as a couple of books need returning. I borrowed a C.S Lewis one, The Screwtape letters, and Saint Augustines City of God. Will need to redo the loan on the Augustine, I got as far as reading the introductory chapters, and then failed to read the actual book. So will re-attempt that at some point.

Anyway, must go for now, so ttfn.

Sunday already?

Back again.

I haven't given up blogging. had a couple of busy days, and getting home late, and feeling too tired to type. Poor excuse I know, but it's the only one I have, and I am sticking to it.

MLO told me everything that he had said to the vicar, at long last, after keeping me hanging about for days on end and not knowing for sure. By what he said, it seems he gave the vicar an abridged version of my life, didn't miss that much out though, so the vicar really does know everything now. But it is all good. Rang him up on Friday, after he had left the message on my phone on Monday, got straight through, unfortunately he was in a meeting, said he would ring back in a few minuted, which he did.  He didn't mention what MLO said, just arranged when could have a chat. So will be talking to him on the 29th. 

Went to Birmingham on Saturday, to meet up with mum, and have a bit of a wander round the shops there. MLO came with me which was nice. We didn't get up there very early though, not until just after eleven, so the day was shorter than usual. The train was packed, unbelievable how busy it was, but I think that train is always busy, with only two carriages, it is no wonder that so many people have to stand up, but you would think that the train company could stick an extra carriage on. I remember years ago when I was still small, you could travel on a cheaper ticket if you stood up, shame they don't do that anymore.

Missed morning church at the town church again this morning, MLO could barely keep his eyes open poor bugger, so we went back to bed. Wouldn't miss evening church at the country church for anything though. It wasn't a communion service tonight, each third Sunday, there is a prayer service, which is held in the lady chapel, and is nice and cosy. I remember the sermon, and the readings from this evening, but I cannot remember which hymns we had. They were good ones which both MLO and I knew and enjoyed singing, just can't remember what they were.  Dreadful isn't it.

Anyway, vicar was talking to someone when we went to leave, so waved, and got a big cheerful wave back. 

There I am now up to date, happy again, now I am. Was being a bit of a prat I think, and feeling far too sorry for myself the other day. Must go for now, as it is time for bed, so night night.

Hello, is there anybody in there, just nod if you can hear me

Right now, I want to blog even need to blog, but I'm sat here staring at the screen with no idea what to write. 

Today. I have not known where to put myself, or what to do one minute to the next. My mind is all over the place trying to think over, a hundred and one things but managing  to achieve nothing. Didn't start the day off too badly, did some washing, which had to be dried inside due to the pouring rain. Then I stopped and thought, and thought some more and carried on thinking till my brain was scrambled. Tried to get in touch with the vicar on the phone, but yet again no-one there. After all the failed attempts at trying to get my details to him, after he requested them, then MLO saying far more than he really should, far too soon anyway, and the total failure to get in touch since, I wonder if perhaps someone is trying to tell me something. With my whole heart, I hope and pray that isn't so, but something feels wrong, and whether it is just that things were said too soon, and made things difficult, or that I have completely and utterly misread a large part of what my life is and has been up to this point, I'm not sure. On the other hand it may be that I am so worried about what the vicar thinks, and the worry that he will come to a conclusion, other than the one I would wish, that I am completely wrapped up in what ifs and worrying myself stupid over them, rather than just seeing what happens.  Still feeling pretty rubbish over the whole thing right now though.  Have tried talking to MLO about it, but I think he is a bit fed up with me mentioning it right now, and if I press him for details of what he said, he wont tell me, and just says to talk to the vicar. Not the most helpful response when I need to talk about how I am feeling. Or perhaps all I really want is for him to say things will be OK,  to put my mind at rest a little. Perhaps.  To be honest, I don't know myself what I want or need, except that I need to work out what is wrong, whether the way I feel is of my own making or otherwise. 

Off to bed now, after a few prayers, calm me down a bit anyway, re center me. So night night. Hopefully I can talk tomorrow with the vicar, you never know, I may be worrying over nothing. 

Au revoir.

What has MLO said?

Well, here we are, Wednesday again. Although as I type, it is still Tuesday night as far as I am concerned.

We have had a couple of interesting days weather wise here. Monday was lovely up until about ten last night, and the heavens opened. Blimey, I have never seen rain so heavy in all my life. Within half a minute, the water was 3 inches deep outside the front door, it could not drain away fast enough. The gutters were all overflowing, even though they are clean. Mad rain. Then came the thunder and lightning. Pretty spectacular. Very cool when the thunder booms and you can still hear it ages later as it rolls around and echoes off the surrounding hills. The lightning was the sort that lights up the whole sky, the odd thing about it was I was sure I could smell it. Very peculiar indeed. The weather lasted a couple of hours, then faded away into nothing, and Tuesday started off with bright glorious sunshine. That's how the day stayed too, got fairly warm this afternoon, and has started to feel humid, so no doubt we will be getting rain tomorrow.

Had to put the price of petrol up again by four pence per litre. The price now stands at £1.08 per litre for both diesel and unleaded petrol. So, understandably custom was down yet again. as far as I can gather, so my boss informs me anyway,  the so called shortage was actually engineered by the oil companies in this country in order to  push the price up. Rather underhanded if it is true, and even seems slightly illegal to me, but then I know nothing about the laws of this country, so am probably completely wrong, still doesn't seem right though.

Other than the price of fuel not much to tell about work. A couple of our farmer customers stopped by for fuel and a bit of a chat. A lot of the talk was about Dairy Farmers of Britain. Quite a few local farmers were part of the cooperative, and quite apart from the fact that they wont be paid for the milk they produced last month, a lot also had money invested in the company, just four I know of will have lost between them almost half a million pounds. Money that they could not afford to lose. The amount of jobs that are expected to be lost in the company, and also on farms where staff can no longer be paid, is expected to exceed the total job loss at LDV, there will be no government help for the farmers here though. Farmers and farming seem to be last in the list of government priorities.

Vicar rang up yesterday evening, but for some reason my mobile didn't ring just went straight to answerphone, and then didn't inform me until over an hour later, otherwise I could have rung back. I have managed to wheedle out of MLO some more info on what he may or may not have said. Seems he did say something. What do I say to the vicar now? I feel like running for cover and hiding under a pile of rocks about it all. I really wanted to leave it quite a while yet before anything was said, and now it is all wrong. Much too soon. But hey, maybe it is the right time, and I just haven't realised it yet, maybe it's what should happen. I wont know till I call the vicar back, just have no idea what to say?  There I go again, worrying about things that haven't happened yet. I'm pretty good at that lately. If MLO did say what I am now pretty certain he did say, I can't pretend that he was lying, or making it up. Bummer. I actually ended up listening to the answerphone message more than once, to see what I could pick up from the tone of his voice, and attempt to figure out what he was thinking. No use though, I think the only thing I found out, is that he probably doesn't like answerphones.

I Will call back tomorrow, all he said was that, unfortunately his evenings in June were pretty much taken up already, and would like to have a chat with me, left his study number, and said he looked forward to hearing from me soon.  If I can't get through before Sunday, it will be a little awkward in church, I know that. 

Oh what the heck. I could be knocked down by a bus tomorrow, I will just go wherever I am taken.  Forget about worrying, and what people think, I should be out there screaming from the rooftops. That's even how I feel sometimes. 

 I am going to stop now, if I carry on I will tie my brain up in knots. Am off to bed after a couple of games of minesweeper. So night night everyone.

Rude customers and spiders

Well, it has been a very quiet weekend all round for me. Not having any petrol to sell, meant having to turn away an increasingly large number of people, some understanding, some very much the opposite. That is the one thing that annoys me about working where I do, for the most part the people who come into the shop are lovely friendly and chatty people, but there is always one who seems to think that we are doing everything we can to inconvenience them, and doing so deliberately. Amazing the language that some people use and how personal the remarks can be if they feel aggrieved. When that happens, there is so much temptation to tell them precisely what I think of them at that moment, but quite apart from it not being the done thing for staff to abuse the customers, it would just result in me doing exactly what I am annoyed at the customer for doing. Solves nothing. But what are you supposed to do when a customer on finding out we have sold out of petrol, then asks you in an extremely threatening manner, "What you going to do about it then", and who then refuses to listen when you explain there isn't a lot that we can do, but let him know where he can get some from. Usually that kind of customer leaves the shop swearing worse than a trooper. What did it achieve? Do these people think they can intimidate me into saying, "Sorry sir, I lied, we actually have plenty of petrol, just pulling your leg there, terribly sorry?" Wonder why I bother some days.

Anyway, rant over. The weather has been utterly lovely again this weekend, pretty warm yesterday and today.  Had a short and very sharp rainstorm this evening, which led to a mad dash round the house in a race to get all the windows shut before the house was deluged. Ten minutes later and it was all over, and business as usual as far as the sun was concerned. Only a week left till the longest day, once that is over and done with winter seems to be there before you realise it. It is still partially light out as I write this (23:34 pm),lovely.

It was the Hampton Bishop church fete yesterday, which I missed due to working, but MLO made an appearance there. Quite a good turn out of people by all accounts. It was the vicars first ever country fete, so hope he enjoyed it. When MLO was there, the vicar went up to him, and mentioned that he hadn't been in touch, the office had lost my details, so he got MLO to write them down for him. He promised to be in touch in the week. Yay. :-) One thing though, MLO was being a little cryptic with me, and I am a little suspicious that he may have told the vicar everything, absolutely everything. One part of me thinks, if he has then Woo, I don't have to tackle that, but unfortunately the larger part of me, is worried about the fact that he may have done, as it really, and most certainly was not the right time. But as I think I have said before, "What will be will be".  I was unable to get to church today, MLO  had to go to a service at his mums church, one of the Lay readers was being made an Emeritus, quite an honour, so of course there was a nice big service with wine and nibbles to follow. Apparently it was a lovely service. As the service there was at the same time as the service we would have usually gone to, MLO couldn't manage to go, and as I don't drive, it was something of a problem, I could have walked, but that was either 3 ish miles through very overgrown river meadows, or much further along the main roads. I suppose a taxi would have helped, but at their Sunday rate, that would have been a minimum of £20 each way, not an amount I would be willing to pay. It really sounds as if I am making excuses here, but I'm not. MLO did let them know we wouldn't be there.  

I am looking forward to hearing from the vicar this coming week, not sure what I will say, if it does indeed turn out that MLO told him everything, but hopefully it wont be mentioned, and we will just have a chat about being baptised.  MLO wont tell me one way or the other whether he said anything or not, even when I press him on it, all he will say is "The jobs a good 'un", which could be taken to mean anything. I could scream sometimes. 

It has been another one of those days, where it feels as if God is trying to tell me something, or perhaps more specifically to get me to see something, or work something out, and  as usual, I'm here thinking "What?" utterly missing the point or gist of it all, and feeling rather bemused and perplexed again.  Time for some quiet time again I think. As I have been on every day this week, combined with going shopping and everything else that needs doing, I have had very little real opportunity for uninterrupted peace and quiet. Just squeezing in prayers in the morning and evening. I should have spent more time reflecting during them. 

When we left for work this morning, there was a mad little spider sunning itself on the car window, I had to take a picture of it, sorry about the quality, but it was taken on my phone. After looking it up, I think he is a jumping spider if some sort, no idea on the specifics unfortunately.He is strangely cute though in a spidery sort of way.

I have run out of things to blog about now, and as it is past my bedtime, I think that is where I should be headed right now, so night night. 

After looking at my site report, to see where people are coming from, and what pages they are visiting,  I like to see what pages they have come from. Sometimes they get here from a google search on completely unrelated things, however, rather confusingly someone got here whilst searching for the  Bri**sh  nat**nal   p**ty ,  and even more worryingly, I am shown as the 3rd result, second only to the Hereford branch's blog,  when searching for Hereford, Fownhope and b*p. Must be quite a shock when they reach my blog, almost certainly not what they would expect. I just want to say, I have nothing to do with them whatsoever, at all. Nothing, zilch, nada.  I can only presume, that one of the blogs I follow, had made a comment on the dreadful results, but it has come up looking like I support them in the search results. Which I don't. Just want to make that clear.

Thank you.

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The vicar's got a fanclub. :-)

Friday again, already.

Wow, where did the week just go? Has been an odd couple of days at work today and yesterday. Had a brilliantly busy morning, but then in the afternoon, quieter than it has ever been.  It really is no good at all. 

I have been feeling a little offish the last couple of days, I felt pretty rough yesterday, and actually got to bed at nine in the evening, which is utterly unheard of for me,  I eventually surfaced just after seven this morning. Ten hours sleep. I didn't feel tired when I got up, which made a nice change. My poor old tummy has been suffering a little lately, disagrees with everything that I eat or drink, so have given up on that as much as is possible, wont do me any harm though.

We, that is MLO and I, were going to go to a special church service yesterday evening at the town church we go to, all about the churches vision and values, and to get together as a congregation to discuss where we felt it should be going, although the vicar had already set down the main values he felt we should be going with. Anyway, we arrived and parked up, I said to wait as the choir was still  practising. Few minutes later most of the choir left to go home, and other people started to arrive for the service/meeting. There must only have been about fifteen of them, Unfortunately neither MLO or I recognised any of them, and we supposed they went to the ten am service, rather than the  eight am we usually go to. The other thing was, there was not one man going in to the church. Every last one of the people going in was a woman, and all looked to be in their forties.  Methinks the vicar has something of a fanclub forming there :-) . MLO and I ended up not going in, as it would have felt a little bit uncomfortable,   MLO said,  "There's no men, I'm not going in there.".  Can't say as I blame him either, there was no way I was going to go in there, not unless there were a few more men, or even just a few more people in general.  Enough moaning about that for now. 

Right now, I cannot think of anything else to write about. oh, except that my rather naughty mobile phone has decided to delete the entire content of my applications and games folder, for reasons known only to itself. Has left me mystified, and a little annoyed, as some of the applications has had several things saved to them. Have been trying to get replacements for them all, but drawing a blank with some of them. But I cant do anything about it now, so no point moaning too much is there.

Oh well, night night one and all.

Wednesday done and dusted.

Well that's Wednesday all done with. I will shortly be off to bed, as to be quite honest, I am knackered. Didn't manage to get any sleep last night again, not until about half past four anyway. Was up at seven, I couldn't manage half six, no way Jose could I. Got to work at eight, and finished just after seven tonight, then straight off shopping with MLO, and eventually got home at just after nine. As I am on holiday cover this week, I have ended up doing an eleven hour day, for the whole week. Tiring is not the word. Will Be glad when Sunday comes, as I only have to do a four hour day then. 

I shouldn't really complain though, at least I have a job. It was lovely and busy this morning, but it tailed off towards the afternoon. That could have had something to do with the weather though, as it certainly got a bit thundery later on, after lunch. Lovely purple grey and yellow overcast sky, lashing rain on and off, and  plenty of thunder to add to the mix. I love really stormy weather, I absolutely Love it. If I hadn't been at work, I would probably have been outside in it, screaming like a banshee while running around with my arms in the air. I have no idea why I feel the need to do that in stormy weather, but it sure is fun.  

Off to bed now. Night night. 

Busy day at work and talking

Today was a lovely busy day at work, had lots and lots of lovely customers coming in,. Had a few stop and have nice long chats too, so the day went really pretty well indeed. I love days like this.
Paddy the old goat, came along for his usual, a bunch of the free newspapers and a good old moan. He only ever moans about the same things each time, but it seems to make him feel a bit better about stuff, so that's OK. Mr M also came up for a natter, he has been on a bit of a spending spree of late, after a 40 year saving plan came to maturity. Poor man doesn't quite know what to make of all the money he has, as he has been used to living pretty much on the breadline as a small farmer (he's not small, the farm is :-) ). He is now the proud owner of a 32" flat screen television and a DVD player. You'd think he was the richest man on earth, he is so ecstatically happy that he is able to afford things like that now, even things that most people take for granted, such as the TV and DVD player. I'm pretty sure he has splashed out on a new set of overalls too. Bless his little cotton socks.
Mr B also came a visiting, he doesn't come up as often these days, he recently had a new knee, which has so far proved to be more trouble than his original, and has spent most of his time since having it done going in a and out of hospital, and doctors surgeries. Anyway he got talking about the local wildlife that he has tamed. He has several tame squirrels that will walk into his house and go and sit on his lap when he is on the computer or watching television, they don't even mind visitors round them. He also has several birds that have become very tame , including a jay, robins, blackbirds and blue tits. He has videoed them all over the years, and he says that whenever the animals breed, the offspring are naturally tame, as they pick it up from their parents, and will bring their young to him. Something of a Doctor Doolittle. He obviously loves the animals, and that is probably why they trust him more than most. None of the other customers stopped for more than a couple of minutes.
Mr Boss was pleased with the total for the day, so that was nice. He is a very different person when he is in a good and happy mood, to when he is not. Unfortunately he always seems to be in a not so happy mood lately, but I suppose that is hardly surprising given the fact that we haven't exactly been overrun with custom lately.
I have been in a happy happy mood today, the sun was out again, so maybe that had something to do with it, and God really makes me smile. 
Anyway. Time for bed methinks. So goodnight, and God bless.

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Friday, Saturday and Sunday

Hello again there. 

After my blogging frenzy the other morning when I couldn't sleep, I have gone rather quiet on the blogging front. 

MLO and I went to Monmouth to deliver the things to his farm, and had a bit of a stroll through the town when we were there, he also treated me to lunch with a lovely cup of tea as well. That morning he had had his new mobile phone delivered for use on his contract, and was having fun playing around on that. On the phone there is a GPS app, which works quite well, except when you deviate of the course that the GPS software has set. Then the voice prompt seems to get ever so slightly irate, and says "You are now off course" , and then utterly refuses to reroute according to the direction you are now heading in, it eventually resorts to telling you to make a U turn,  and every few seconds pipes up with "Make a  U turn here" , pretty funny really. It got us home anyway.

That night we needed a couple of things so nipped up to one of our local supermarkets, to get them. Not sure what was going on in there but they had one of the most amazing sales on that I have ever seen. Cds, including some that were in the charts at £1.50 to £3.00, dvds from£1.00. They even had blu-ray from just £3.00. Best of all, they had a kodak photo printer at just £9.00 from over £80.00. Mystifying. But I didn't complain, as I had been looking for a nice photo printer for ages, but didn't buy one due to the price, and I also got Planet Earth on blu-ray for £8.00, which I had wanted for ages, but again didn't buy due to price. When we got home, I had to try  out the printer. The prints that came out of it amazed me, the detail was so fine. So one happy bunny here. The other plus  is that it doesn't need to be plugged in to the computer to work, and will even print directly off my mobile phone with the data cable.

On Saturday, it was my Mums turn to come down to Herefordshire. The weather was utterly wonderful for her (sarcasm alert ;-) )It tipped it down with rain all day long. But then we really did need it as it had been more or less dry for so long. As I have said before, she really like visiting churches around the county, and MLO and I have usually taken her around the county in search of the finest. This time however I decided we would look at the local churches, within a few miles of us. Firstly, we visited Holmer church, just on the edge of Hereford city. This is one of the county's black and white churches. It is dedicated to St Bartholomew. The earliest parts of the church date from the 12th C, and the black and white tower, from the 16th C. Next, we paid a visit to Withington, which was closed. Mum wasn't too happy, but there was nothing that we could do about it.

After that we took my mum to Hampton Bishop, the church MLO and I have been going to for evening services. She fell in love with the building, which is really rather lovely. I have put about its history what I know of it anyway, in another post here .  
After Hampton Bishop, we went via Dormington church (which was closed) to Lugwardine. We were in lick there, as the vicar (I presume) and his son and daughter were setting up some things for teas, so I asked if we could come in and he said we were more than welcome. A very pretty church again and much bigger inside than it looks like from outside.  With some lovely windows. 
From there we went back to Hereford for a coffee. MLO left us for a while as he wanted to be home for when his mother got back from Northumberland.
Mum went home on the eight o clock train.
When I got home MLOs mother was full of stories of what she and her friends got up to on holiday, which was fum to listen to. She showed us all her pictures, and it really did look as though they had a lot of fun. On one of their daytrips across the border into Scotland they came across a lone bagpiper. And being the bunch of daft gits that they all are, broke into an impromptu highland jig, much to the amusement of the other onlookers. Whenever they all get together (the agricultural society) no one knows what will happen.
Anyway onto today. For the first time in ages I overslept when I should have been somewhere, namely church. I couldn't believe it when I saw the time. Thank goodness for the other church and evening service. Was a pretty uneventful day overall, had roast lamb for lunch. Got showered ready for church, and went. Was a good service, as usual, with good hymns. There were two that I didn't know, but were easy to pick up thankfully. In his sermon, he was talking about the Trinity, which was hardly surprising give the fact that it is Trinity Sunday. He was talking about how people have tried to visualise God, and that rather than trying to see him as such the best way to "see" Him, is through the spirit acting in people, and what they do, and who they are. He said one day his little 3 year old son had asked him how could he see God, the vicar replied by saying God was like the wind, you can feel him and sense him, just not see him, but that you know he is there. His son then said to him, "Does that mean every time the wind blows on me , that God has given me a hug?". So sweet. At the end of the service MLO opened his mouth about the fact that the vicar hadn't been in touch after he said he would, I just assumed that he was too busy, but it turned out he hadn't got the message, the woman I spoke to hadn't passed the message on, and he apologised. I felt a bit embarrassed though, as he obviously was put on the spot a bit by MLO. We had a pretty good chat afterwards which was really good, he asked what we did for a living, so we told him. A good chat. He said he would be in touch at some point in the week, when he got my number and address. One other thing that was amusing was when the  lady who did one of the readings came up to us, and asked if we were visiting the church, we didn't like to say that we had been going there every other week for slightly over three months, so just said where we lived.
I knew right away this morning that MLOs mother was back. Screaming and shouting are the norm again. She really really needs  to sort her head out. Have tried talking to her, but she will not listen. MLO has tried she wont listen to him. Every morning and evening, I pray that she will be able to sort her head out, or sort out what is going on, she has got so downright nasty, I'm not sure if I can take it for much longer, she flew into a rage when she realised we were going to church this evening, she does it over anything and everything, and is downright nasty and vindictive in what she does and says.  MLO walked out on her too. I really do not know what to say to her, or to do, as whatever I do is wrong these days. I almost didn't get to church this evening because she what she said and did drew me to tears again, and I felt so rotten, I really wasn't in the right frame of mind to go, but I went, and it helped, a bit.
Anyway, enough of that. I have work every day this week, so will be out of the house from just after half seven, to just before half seven each day, so that will give me plenty of space. I have a couple of books from the library to read, and a couple I bought from Oxfam too, so no chance to get bored. Will be pretty tired by the time I have finished this coming week.
Oh well, I really ought to get to bed now. Work starts in less than eight hours. So, TTFN. 

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Dodgy graphics card

Since I switched my computer on this evening, I keep getting an intermittent problem. The screen will go black, then come back on with a notification come up that a driver failed, but recovered. After investigating on the net, it turns out it is more or less terminal. How wonderful. I have only had the ruddy computer just over 14 months, and it has hardly been used in that time really. So will ring up the manufacturer tomorrow, and see whether there is any joy to be had there. Both computers giving up on me in the space of a couple of months, is not great. Really not great.
Back to today, I finally got to sleep sometime after six this morning, crazy sleepless nights. I woke up again just before nine. Although I should be tired right now, I'm not, and am wide awake. The only caffeine I have had today was in a cup of tea which I had at half past five.
We didn't go anywhere in the end. MLO realised he had some paperwork left to do for one of his farms, and didn't finish that till after midday. We had to take a farm diary back to one of his farms over at Eaton Bishop, so we did pop in to the church there on the way back for a look.Three are some amazing windows there, the glass in them dates back to 14th C, and they are really rather beautiful. The whole church is rather beautiful in fact.
He has to take another load of paperwork to a farm just outside Monmouth tomorrow, so I will go with him, and we will have a wander there.

Insomnia strikes again

I am sure that there is a very good reason for not being able to sleep when I should be sleeping, not totally sure what it is, but I am certain it isn't stress or health, so happy about that. I think what it is , now I have really thought about it, is that there is always something running through my mind, and my thoughts can take a pretty random turn at times, anything can and will pop into my head. I don't think I ever have a time when I'm NOT thinking about something or trying to work something out. I have a overactive brain, that's what it is.

Still wide awake, it is now half past four in the morning, the sky is light, and the dawn chorus was in full swing a few minutes ago. Even heard the cuckoo, which was lovely. Went outside and just stood and listened to the birdsong and the quiet. It is wonderful being up and around at this time of day, no traffic noise in the distance, everything new, still, peaceful and perfect. For a small short time of the day at this time of the year, it feels like it is just you, God and the world.  

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New colour scheme and header image.

Decided to mess around with the design a bit, well the colours and the header image anyway. Not sure whether I like it yet. I have been a bit of an insomniac this week, and messing around on my computer like this usually sends me to sleep by about fourish. 

Will see in the morning (more specifically later on), whether I shall keep it or not. Although I think the shades of brown are nice and restful. Still have a few bits to alter, but will do that again. 

A jay in the tree

Another day. Really haven't done very much at all today. Just the usual sort of stuff, like cleaning up after MLO, and things like that ;-). Earlier on today I was in the study looking out of the window, and a flash of red shot by, and into a tree outside. I looked up and there was a jay sat in the tree, never having seen one of these before, I was quite chuffed. Whipped out my camera, but before I could get a picture he was gone. Never mind though. He was a lovely shade of pale red, and bigger than I thought they were.

This year I seem to be seeing a much greater variety of birds locally, than I have done in previous years. Whether they like the weather better this year, or what it is I don't know. I even saw a hen harrier at Stoke Edith, by the asparagus fields two weeks ago,  at about seven  fifteen in the morning, when we were driving to Ledbury station to get the train to Birmingham. Not sure why I haven't mentioned that before though, as it was pretty exciting. Not certain what it was doing  as it appeared to be tumbling through the air and then righting itself before tumbling again, most odd.  But pretty cool.

Other half has said that we will go off for the day tomorrow somewhere. I am not sure where it will be yet. I rather hope we will be going to Oxford, as I love the place, and haven't been for ages, and it means we can stop at a lovely pub in the village of Minster Lovell. One of the prettiest villages imaginable. And some great ruins to wander round as well. I think however he is rather taken on the idea of Abergavenny, nice enough place, but not where I hope we go. I could suggest Cardiff, a brilliant lively place, which kind of reminds me of Liverpool, in a way. Oh well wherever we go it will be fun, and a change, so I really shouldn't worry where it is we will end up going.

Today has been one of those days when God has been there, and egging me on a bit, but I am buggered if I know why or what for. I'm like "What? Eh? Huh?" I have absolutely no idea why, so must do a bit more listening. I feel a bit perplexed, and very slightly confused in fact, if the truth be known. Oh well, it will all be clear in time.  Still have no idea though. Actually thinking about it a bit more, the way I feel, is like when someone tells you that they have a surprise for you, you just don't know what the surprise is. That's what it is like.

On that I will say good night. I will report back tomorrow on where we end up, and what we end up doing whilst there. So TTFN. Au revoir etc.

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A week off work!!

Today, as for the rest of the week, I have a day off. I took a week off as MLOs mother is also away, and it gives us a chance to have a little space, and time together without having to pay to go away anywhere. I don't think I, or MLOs mother could have chosen a better week to go away. Th weather is still spectacularly gorgeous. It must be at least 25 degrees out there right now. I have been tidying up around the path edges today, the grass has a very annoying habit of growing over the edge of the path and need cutting away every so often. Very satisfying cutting along and pulling great long strips of turf away off the path it is. Only problem was the ants, hundreds of them, I think I uncovered at least 5 separate nests of them. Mostly black, but also a couple of red ones too. All done now and the paths have a nice straight edge again.

As I am sat in the study typing and also looking outside, there are birds everywhere out there. A little thrush is busy with the snails again, and a couple of blue tits are chasing round hedge and trees. Lovely. Thrush has found another snail already, and is busy bashing it to pieces on the bricks of the drive.

I rang up the office yesterday to leave my name and address for the vicar, as he had asked, but the office was closed then. So I rang up again today earlier this time, and got through to a Scottish lady, who took my details. Things are moving on. Maybe only a little way, but forward nonetheless.

Anyway, am off to start getting dinner prepared, may blog later on. If not TTFN.

The vicar knows everything now, well, almost everything.

Not a lot to tell here today. Weather was wonderful again, as it has been now for days. The morning was not overly quiet at work, with the usual rush just before closing time. As it was the last day of the month, a few of the account customers came in to put fuel etc onto their account before they are sent out tomorrow. Plus I had the usual Sunday closing time rush. Don't ask me why they do it, but for some reason the customers leave it until the very last possible minute before coming up.  If ever I say anything about the time, the reply I nearly always get is, "Yes I know, that's why I came up because you  are about to close".  Why they cant come up at quarter to I will never know. Anyway rant over.

MLOs mother was packed off, up to Northumberland for the next seven days. So a quiet happy and peaceful house is resumed. It is as good as having a holiday when she is away. If I want to mooch around in my undies I can without worry, and if the washing up isn't done immediately it doesn't matter. Bliss.

Church this evening was enjoyable.  Vicar gave a very different sermon for Pentecost compared to his usual fare, and couldn't help but smile when in his sermon he used several sentences of something I read only that morning online. A few different faces about there too.

Lately when it has come to Communion, I have been staying in the pew, and not even going up for a blessing. It has suited me this way, and I figured it would make it a bit more special for when I had been baptised and confirmed. Trouble was I frequently got extremely disapproving looks from some of the congregation. Anyway, tonight, I saw the vicar frown in my direction as the last few had been given Communion. I hoped that he didn't feel offended or think I was deliberately turning my nose up at it. I had really wanted to talk to the vicar about getting baptised and confirmed, but he was always talking with someone else, so never had the chance, and really would rather talk face to face than via e-mail etc. Well, at the end of the service, the Vicar came over and asked me why it was I didn't go up for communion. When I answered him that I hadn't even been baptised, he seemed genuinely surprised at my answer, so what on earth did he think my reasons were?

Anyhoo, all turned out great, he said to me to leave my name and address with the parish office, and we can get together and have a chat about baptism. So all turned out pretty spectacularly well. Odd that all week since last Sunday I have felt like something was getting going, and I told MLO. I also was sticking to the notion that things will happen in their own time, and they have, but its like I was expecting it if that makes sense.

Oh well, it is another late night for me, so must get to bed asap. Am going to bed in a really happy mood. Very different to how I felt early on yesterday and the day before. All is well.

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All about Me

Herefordshire, United Kingdom
Born in 1975 in Brixham, in glorious Devon. Spent most of my youth in grimy birmingham. As soon as i was able at 18 I moved to beautiful Herefordshire. Where i remain to this day. Work at Locks Garage, famous for our ice creams. Generally wonderful place.
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